I count this as a win, even though it is only 9:30 am, and my motor skills still have plenty of time to betray me. I don’t think they will though, because I am using a mind-over-two-left-feet approach today, so I’m like a ballerina, not Kate Gosselin on DWTS. ( Poor Kate can’t help that she dances like a pterodactyl in a ball gown- I’m pulling for you Kate! Sort of!)
Today is a new day, people. It will not be like yesterday, when, just before I had to leave the house, I broke a stack of fifteen plates trying to get something to rest my toast on.
They made a spectacular noise as the plates exploded on the cement floor. While I was speed-sweeping the shards that were not embedded in the furniture into the trash can I had plenty of time to wonder why we even needed fifteen plates in the house. I think we were only just weighed down by our excessive plate ownership. I liberated us.
Remind me later that we’re out of Band-Aids.
Also, this morning is beautiful, sunny and cool, and as I walked confidently onto campus at 8 am, wearing a new gray dress with blue-gray tights, another teacher approached me and said,
“Hey! I love your uniform! I need to do that too- it would make it so easy to get dressed in the morning.”
I was totally going for “uniform”. It’s inmate-chic. Prada’s spring Penitentiary line.
I’ve been modeling my fashion-forward look all morning on campus, because it’s state testing week, and since I have seniors, who don’t test, I get to be a bathroom break person. I’m assigned four teachers to relieve, but two of them are missing, either in the wrong room, or on a plane to
Rio, I’m not sure, so I’ve been wandering around campus like an escapee looking for clues. I know I’m going to find them soon, but not until I finish writing this, because how often do they need to go to the bathroom anyway? Teachers have monster-bladders. It’s in the contract.
I just remembered one of the two who are not missing is pregnant. I’ll be right back.
It was close, but I made it there on time. While she was gone I inspected her baby books and ate a little of her trail mix. It was on the desk. Probably she left it there for me, because I’ve been doing a lot of walking.
I’m kind of tired now, but I have to stay focused, because pretty soon the second half of the day will start, and happy students will come flooding in these doors. Three solid hours of testing this morning will not have dampened their enthusiasm for learning. Today we are talking about the meaning of life and Lance Armstrong.
I have a gift for lesson planning. And fashion.
What are your gifts? Feel free to talk amongst yourselves while I go do this whole employment thing. I’ll be around later.